tattoo keeps me sane

i've said it before and i'll say it again.. tattoo keeps me sane.

the smell of the shop.
the buzz of the machine.
the vibration on my body.
the sting in my skin.
the streaks of the ink.
the smear of blood.

yeah, it hurts. but knowing that i'll be left with something beautiful and permanent after it's gone makes the pain worth every moment of it.

when i was younger i had a lot of trouble coping with my emotions and developed some less than constructive methods of dealing with them. i was raised in a house where expressing ourselves wasn't really encouraged. especially if it was a negative emotion brought on by the family or someone in it. i had to hide the way i felt for a long time and found other secret ways of expressing the pain and depression i had buried deep inside myself.

i continued with those methods until i got my first tattoo when i was 19.

my tattoo count is in the double digits now, and still growing. i assume that it will continue to until i've run out of space. each and every tattoo i have means something significant to me.

  • the name of the son i gave up for adoption.
  • the only two flash pieces i have ( a tribal sun and the obligatory butterfly ) had to do with the time i spent married to an idiot. ( one is being covered and one is being revamped because of its location. )
  • a star for each of my sisters. ( i'm not sexist, i just don't have any brothers. )
  • a star for each of my children ( from when i only had four ).
  • my name on my hand.
  • the word DEFY on my left ring finger.
  • a skeletal self portrait.
  • the halloween tattoo.
  • yin yang and pentacle for balance, power, control, and protection.
  • my family tree on my back.
  • make it happen across my chest.
  • the phoenix representing my death and rebirth is in process.
  • the octopus as a symbol of transformation and regeneration is next and will tie into the phoenix and the script work on my chest.

the hours, money, and pain that goes into each one leaves me with a permanent display of something important to me, something that made me who i am.

tattoo is a major part of my life. you don't have to like them and can complain all you like. but i wouldn't be the person i am without them.

and i am a tattoo snob of the highest order. :)

August, 17 2010 under tattoo