happy new year

i wrote this before i went out and ended up forgetting to post it.. but now here it is. :)

as we prepare for a new year and decade to begin, i feel like i should be waxing poetic about the past year and decade. to be honest, both have been a hell of a ride and while i think i'd much rather think about the future than the past, the past probably deserves at least a little waxing. this is as poetic as i can get about it right now without ending up with a novella-length post here.

ten years ago:
  • i was married to a moron.
  • i had one child.
  • i was miserable.
  • i lived in the worst place in the country for me where i was having racial slurs thrown at me daily by my own in-laws.
  • i had weekly migraines and rarely slept.
  • i was an unemployed housewife because aforementioned moron liked it that way.
  • and i was cutting. a lot.
now:
  • i am single(ish) after leaving that marriage and spending six years in another that actually helped me to grow as a person.
  • i have eight children ( most of them are by association ).
  • i am happier than i've ever been.
  • i finally live in a place that feels like home.
  • i have had two migraines in the past year and i sleep every night.
  • i have made myself into a rather successfull developer and have a real career.
  • and i haven't cut myself once in more than a year.

the decade started as a shitstorm for me and ended on a beautiful sunny day. ( literally - have you been outside today? oh so gorgeous. ) and the future.. well, that remains to be seen and i, for one, am super excited to dive into it head-first.

side note: i don't really want to talk about the cutting, and i'd prefer that you not leave comments about it. i put it here as a way of keeping a reign on myself where it is concerned. all is well. don't start to panic and worry about me. i am happy, i'm not doing it, and life is better because of that.

January, 01 2011 under self

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