posts under "self"

boundaries - i haz them

this is how i lost everything and regained myself all at the same time. i have ( or had ) two friends who are a couple. dave and susan. dave has been a very close friend of mine for 8 years. susan came into his life 3 years ago or so. now, to be perfectly honest, i have never trusted susan nor been comfortable in a room with her. in the beginning of their relationship, she did and said some things that were severely hurtful to me. dave has always been very important to me and not someone i...

posted: June, 27 2011 in self :: 3 comments :: read more

floundering

how do you ask for help when you're the one that is never supposed to need any? when you're the one that makes for damn sure no one ever knows that you need any. when you're the strong one that holds everyone else up in times of crisis. i am in an emotional downward spiral and i can't get anyone to see or believe that i am floundering. i've been trying to figure this out for a month or so now. and i'm realizing that it is my own fault. it seems that my purpose in life has been to hold...

posted: February, 12 2011 in self :: 1 comments :: read more

now that's fuckin metal

obviously, i wrote this last night. i wanted to wait for Paul's death to be announced by someone more official before i posted this. as most of you know.. i hang with mike and his band, Darwen's Theory, pretty damn often. i goto band practice every time i can and i would never ever even consider missing a show. i love each and every one of those guys like i've known them for many years longer than i have. i can't help it. they're all just so... metal. that was one of the ongoing jokes with...

posted: February, 11 2011 in self :: 2 comments :: read more

addiction

i made a few observations a couple weeks ago. here's one of the more minor ones - i do not at all mind when strangers find excuses to walk around all sides of me to check out my tattoos without having to talk to me. this means that i - the one with social anxiety issues - am intimidating on some level. i can be the sweetest, most polite person in the world, and they are still curious and afraid. it leaves me feeling a couple of different things that are both sortof awesome at the same time. i...

posted: February, 04 2011 in self :: 1 comments :: read more

i am a cliche

i posted a tweet the other day. i said "we should always be learning. always. even when what we learn just fucking hurts to know." and it's true. i learned something over the weekend. something about myself. i learned that i am a cliche. i got hurt - more than i've ever admitted - when a relationship ended and decided the best response was to build that proverbial wall around my heart in an attempt to avoid future heartbreak. i looked for unavailable men. i chose to date multiple people i...

posted: January, 25 2011 in self :: 2 comments :: read more

if you want to be a warrior...

"if you want to be a warrior, you need to conquer yourself." for all of his goofiness, Sucre is a pretty damn profound guy sometimes. he and i were having a conversation about a friend of ours when he threw out this beautiful piece of truth. even tho we were only talking about one person at the time, in the second after he said it i thought of about 42 people who need to hear it. need to hear it, cuddle it, take it to heart, love and squeeze it and apply it to their lives. "make it happenæ...

posted: January, 06 2011 in self :: 0 comments :: read more

happy new year

i wrote this before i went out and ended up forgetting to post it.. but now here it is. :) as we prepare for a new year and decade to begin, i feel like i should be waxing poetic about the past year and decade. to be honest, both have been a hell of a ride and while i think i'd much rather think about the future than the past, the past probably deserves at least a little waxing. this is as poetic as i can get about it right now without ending up with a novella-length post here. ten years...

posted: January, 01 2011 in self :: 0 comments :: read more

updates

i know, i've been slacking and somewhat unavailable in the world wide web as of late. don't panic tho. i'm not avoiding anything or dead in a ditch somewhere. here are my updates tho. i started a new job a few weeks ago. it is amazingly awesome. i adore what i'm doing and i like my team. i work excessively well with one team member in particular, and that makes me happy. he's a super smart and talented developer. plus, he's funny. :) i moved. doing it sucked. a lot. not far tho. i think it's...

posted: December, 08 2010 in self :: 1 comments :: read more

criticism

something happened this morning that got me thinking about how we deal with criticism. if i was that kind of person, i'd post the whole private conversation that was had for clarity, but i'm not. so i won't. suffice it to say that i called someone out for being childish and they did not respond like an adult. i like to think of myself as a grown up. and i try to act like one as much as possible - unless it's raining outside in which case i want to go out barefoot and dance in it. i take...

posted: November, 06 2010 in self :: 1 comments :: read more

women don't like sex

stephen fry recently did an interview where he said If women liked sex as much as men, there would be straight cruising areas in the way there are gay cruising areas. Women would go and hang around in churchyards thinking: 'God, I've got to get my fucking rocks off', or they'd go to Hampstead Heath and meet strangers to shag behind a bush. It doesn't happen. Why? Because the only women you can have sex with like that wish to be paid for it. and I feel sorry for straight men. The only reason...

posted: October, 31 2010 in self :: 0 comments :: read more

been thinking

i've been thinking about a few things. actually, about a lot of things. but i'm only willing to share a few of them publicly. i'm finishing my phoenix tattoo tomorrow. this thrills me. this tattoo symbolizes my own proverbial death and rebirth. a bonus side effect of this tattoo was covering the little tribal sun tattoo i had on my arm that signified the moment of the bad decision that caused the aforementioned proverbial death. it was actually covered in the last session i had, but the...

posted: October, 25 2010 in self :: 0 comments :: read more

i have social anxiety

i have social anxiety. really only in crowds of people i don't know, tho, and i can usually get through it just fine if nothing weird happens, so i don't consider my issue to be a proper disorder. i had a therapist once that referred to it as such, but i have a hard time labeling myself that way because i don't want to scapegoat something i know i can overcome with a little determination. i've been fine for quite a while. i had a major depression last year that left me unable to leave my...

posted: October, 03 2010 in self :: 5 comments :: read more

make it happen

i'm a huge fan of this phrase. and a believer in the concept. i'm not sure there is any single quality in a human being that i find more inspiring or attractive. it shows a level of determination and commitment to a goal and the true strength of one's character. these are the people that i choose to surround myself with. the king of "make it happen" hal sparks is where i picked up the phrase to begin with, really. i've heard him use those words countless times. i'm not sure that he ever...

posted: July, 17 2010 in self :: 1 comments :: read more

hi again

HI! a lot has happened since my last post. i had my birthday. spent the entire night at the Houdini Estate filming Hal's music video. was a super fun night and i got to take my birthday pictures with everyone in a giant princess chair. think my favorite thing about the night was sitting around listening to the band guys in their sleepless delirium funny. :) this was the first time i'd been around to see something be filmed. quite educational given that i'd like to eventually end up in the...

posted: July, 11 2010 in self :: 0 comments :: read more

look i'm blogging!

so.. i have a blog. i know what blogs are for. i build them. i built this one for that particular purpose and have slacked on it since, well.. since the beginning really. don't look at me like that. i'm a really busy person. anyway.. thought i'd post some stuff i think is kinda interesting and throw down a little update on what's going on with me. me: let's see.. kids are finishing up school this week. some of them are going elsewhere for part of the summer. some aren't. work is going...

posted: June, 17 2010 in self :: 0 comments :: read more

dear twitter

a while back, a bunch of fans started a campaign on @twitter to get @halsparks @verified. there were hundreds of tweets sent their way to make this happen, and lo and behold, it did! it was awesome! there was dancing and woohoo-ing and general merriment. and everyone was happy. then one day, @halsparks got a brand spankin new website ( courtesy of yours truly ) and again, everyone was filled with happy-happy-joy-joy. and for the record, i was sitting next to him and watched while he tweeted...

posted: May, 20 2010 in self :: 1 comments :: read more

on needing help

i get migraines. tuesday and wednesday of this week i left work early with a headache. today i didn't goto work at all. i shouldn't go tomorrow either, but i probably will. i went to bed at 10pm last night and slept pretty quickly ( which is rare for me on both counts ). i was up for an hour around 2am, then an hour or so at 7am, then an hour at noonish today. the rest of the time i was sleeping until 5.30 this afternoon. i left my place with the 17 year old to drop her at the other house and...

posted: March, 04 2010 in self :: 4 comments :: read more

css switcher

so, i've done it again. threw down another real quick style for this site. but, i like the red one so much that i've added in a style switcher ( upper right corner ). cause i'm cool like that. and you can be sure that i'll just add any other new styles up there as i come up with them. doing this will probably be my new hobby for a while. i should probably start getting more creative with naming them. nothing particularly special about this one. considering doing something else to the...

posted: February, 08 2010 in self :: 0 comments :: read more

reflection

on this first day of the new year, and new decade, i'm feeling the need to reflect on the past year and a little on the past decade. 2000 - april 2003 sucked. i was, for all intents and purposes, dead. may 2003 - december 2003 was kinda meh, but i was starting to breathe again. 2004 - 2006 were drama filled, but still amazing. 2007 started to get difficult. 2008 was hard in the beginning, but got much better later. 2009 has been a whirlwind of up and down for me. january was full of...

posted: January, 02 2010 in self :: 0 comments :: read more

thanksgiving

since tomorrow is thanksgiving and i've been avoiding this site for a really long time, i thought i'd share what i'm thankful for.i am thankful for every experience i've had in my life.i've had a lot of "wow" in my life. and more than my fair share of "suck." i've had plenty of phenomenal people touch me in different ways. and i've had some who've been exceedingly harmful. i've been inspired, rescued, tormented, abused, raped, loved, hated, taught, nurtured, thrown into an emotional hole and...

posted: November, 25 2009 in self :: 0 comments :: read more

welcome to serialyzed Bliss

here it is. serialyzed Bliss. the place where i will rant and rave and just generally throw my thoughts and opinions out there. a little about me- my name is Bliss and i am a lot of things. a woman, a developer, a parent, a sister, a daughter, a friend, tattooed and pierced. i am crude and as unPC as it gets. i have opinions and am not afraid to share them, however unpopular they may be. i am anything but stereotypical. i'm dirty minded and have no problem letting you know exactly what i...

posted: October, 08 2009 in self :: 0 comments :: read more